Hello, and welcome back! Before I start sharing our journey, I think it is important to introduce myself, a little bit about my story, and how I became who I am today. I want you to know who is the man who is writing this blog.
My Past
Who am I? Well, I’m a Portuguese young adult; I think I am a relaxed guy who loves to pursue my dreams and do what I love. I had a good education, awesome parents, had a pretty good life. It all looked perfect watching from the outside.
But to be honest, and since this blog is to share my deepest thoughts and feelings, I was not that happy. I felt like everyone around me had a strong opinion of what I should be, you know? Those hard cultural things society tries to force on you. What are you wearing? You can’t wear that. You have to wear these clothes. You can’t listen to that music, you have to listen to these trends, you have to like sports, watch soccer, spend time outside, go out at night and party. What are you watching? Cartoons are for kids, even tho I was watching anime, but they don’t know the difference; stop watching that. Playing videogames? Those are for kids, stop that, you spend too much time in front of the computer. Turn that off and get some sun. Yeah, summing up, it was not nice from my point of view; I just wanted everyone to leave me alone and to do what I like without getting lost in life, you know, get good grades and be good.
Since an early age, I have had this mentality: why should you care what I like or not? I’m not doing anything illegal or bad for society. Why do people have so many opinions about what others do for a living or what they do with their lives? It is none of your business if that person in question is not breaking any laws or harming society or others around them.
So I began to grow, getting to my adult life, and I always had this goal: do what you like no matter what others say or if they don’t understand. Be happy; love what you do. And so I did. I began working in the motion design industry until I got bored and moved to develop as a front-end (website developer for those who don’t know what it is). Then I got tired; it was not fulfilling me, and I went back to motion design, but this time, trying something new as a VFX artist. I couldn’t find a job in my country, so instead of giving up and changing careers, I started creating online content to learn and become an online teacher.
I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished. Everything I know now was self-taught or learned by asking for help from more experienced people, and I think this is pretty cool. From nothing, I became a well-known teacher online, with hundreds of students paying to access my educational content online.
This was a few years ago. Meanwhile, I kept learning new stuff. I got into crypto, developed crypto projects, got involved with communities, and decided to launch an indie game with a friend, to achieve one more dream of my life. It’s funny how, in the past, they tried to force me to quit video games, and now I am releasing one.
The other side
It took me a long time to recognize that I was depressed. One night, while playing Guild Wars 2 and talking with my clan mates, I was able to start my path to happiness. I will never forget this moment.
One of them had a lot of episodes of depression, and he said something that stuck with me and changed my life. It’s funny how, in things like this, he may not be aware of how good he was to me, simply by sharing his story while playing online video games, a hobby that society tried to force me to stop. He said that night: “No matter what your family or closest friends say and how much they try to help you, you will not cure a depression until you acknowledge you have one. They can talk to you, try to make you see that you are not well, all that will not work until you accept that you are suffering.” I do not know if this is accurate clinically or not, but the truth is that, that night, I went to bed thinking about his story and what he said.
I woke up feeling different for the first time in a long time. I was not ok; living in that city was not helping me, even tho I had some of my best friends and family living there close to me. I had to restore my old happy self, the guy who was always smiling and relaxed, always pursuing what he loved.
And so I did; I planned my “restart” and moved to a city where I didn’t know anyone so I could focus on my health and work towards my happiness. I don’t believe this is the answer for everyone, but it was the best solution I could find for myself. And so, step by step, taking my time, I started to restore the old me and finally felt happy. And, it was here that I met the love of my dreams, the woman that became my wife. I met her and fell in love because I was happy again; I was me again and was feeling good about my life.
Now, I can say I am a happy man, still pursuing my life and work dreams; my family and closest friends still don’t know or fully understand what I do for a living, but I know they support me no matter what. I try to do good for everyone around me and try to help as much as I can because I know pain, and I know what solitude means. What I am going to share through this blog were moments that were not easy for us, and by knowing my story, you will understand how we kept moving on together, fighting any obstacle that life presented to us.
In the next post, I’ll share a bit about our relationship, who we are, and who my wife is through my eyes, our dreams, and our lives.
Thank you so much for reading this, and see you on the next one.